Life Without FB

I deactivated my Facebook account almost 2 months ago. And life without Facebook has been very interesting these last couple of months. At first I missed being able to read the massive amount of updates and know what was happening with so many people. I missed looking through hundreds of pictures from peoples’ vacations, weddings, and nights out on the town.

Then, after a while, I became comfortable with not logging on and the urge to “Facebook stalk” decreased to now being nonexistent. I realize now the vast amount of time I spent on Facebook and how often I would pop on for a quick update. During those first cold-turkey weeks I became aware of how often I would think of a status update only to then remember that I didn’t have an account to update. I also stopped taking as many pictures since I wouldn’t be creating photo albums for the internet world to view.

That last change is one of the negatives to not being a part of a social network that I didn’t think of before hitting the deactivate button. I didn't take into account/wasn't aware of all the things I would miss. Social networks have become such a part of our everyday lives that people do not report news or send updates any other way anymore. Remembering birthdays is now dependent on the website’s reminder since no one actually writes down birthdays. I almost forgot my grad school roomie’s birthday 2 weeks ago since I didn’t have Facebook reminding me daily. I’ve also missed the status updates of friends who have gone from engaged to married and the overwhelming amount of pictures that suddenly get posted from all our mutual friends who were at the wedding. It’s also harder to feel connected to girlfriends now that I can’t spy their profile for information or see pics of their new boyfriend.

I’ve received plenty of hints, requests, and demands to reactivate my account. And I have a lot of new friends who want to add me and I continually have to explain that I don’t have an account. I’m sure I will reassess the decision in a couple of months after curiosity gets the best of me and my desire to be socially connected through a website is unbearable. But for the time being my account will stay deactivated and my world Facebook-less.

This Fighter Needed To Cry

Today was one of those mornings when throwing in the towel seems like the best option. No really, I pictured myself curled up with one of my favorite old books, eating straight from the Ben & Jerry’s Half-Baked carton, without a care in the world. And this mental image was a plane ride away from being a reality that I could live with.

We all have bad days. We’re human which means we have to deal with personalities and opinions, emotions and stresses, and work to live with other humans on a daily basis. Living and working abroad takes the regular stresses of life and magnifies them. And no matter how long I am international, how many countries and cultures I live in, the various jobs I hold, or how adjusted I get to being an ex-pat there is always one bad day that makes me think of going home early and burning my passport - which I would never really do since they cost too much money to simply burn and the idea of not having one freaks me out (I like the idea that I can flee if necessary Borne/James Bond style)

Back to today: it started great! My yogurt & granola breakfast was filling and extra yummy since I had a piece of watermelon to go with it. I sang along to a number of old favorites while I got ready and the internet worked from the moment I woke up. And my walk was pretty enjoyable since the sun wasn’t unbearable and the streets were relatively free of dust-spewing buses and dog crap (makes walking a very meticulous process some days). I had to make a stop before work to the shop where our textiles are sewn to hand over the labels that had arrived the day before from the US for a very large and important order. Normally my visits to the shop go fine and the owner is amiable. This morning was not to go so well. Let’s just say he made a major mistake with the order and instead of being open to fixing the problem he decided to blame me and then insist that he did not want to work with me anymore. Luckily, after years of unsuccessful attempts, I am the master of my tongue and was able to control my temper. I ended his rant by saying he needed to speak to the women in my office and then marched to work near tears. Explaining what had gone wrong was too much for my emotional damn when I reached the office and I proceeded to cry out all of the stress I’ve felt with this project since July.

I think it was a very healthy cry. Sometimes admitting life is stressful, language barriers suck, and some people are mean is the most human thing you can do. Plus getting hugs and words of encouragement from my little Mayan bosses is a nice reminder that I still have work to do and can’t quit now. And let’s be honest, I’m too much of a fighter to quit!

Guatemala: Part 2

I can hardly believe it has almost been 2 months since I returned to Guatemala. Time truly flies when it wants to. I am again living in Quetzaltenango (more commonly known as Xela). These past couple of months have filled themselves with highs and lows, lots of work, settling into living abroad again, big changes in my life and a renewed determination to live with passion.

I am working as the Program Manager and Volunteer Coordinator at TRAMA Textiles. TRAMA is a women’s weaving association that produces fair trade textiles. It was created after the war in Guatemala and continues to operate to provide a fair income for women within the association. The cooperative consists of 17 groups, made of over 400 women, living in 5 districts within the highlands of Guatemala.

Having first come to Xela in June I am able to appreciate the end of the rainy season that has finally arrived. We are basking in sun-filled days which are perfect with all of the holidays that have occurred this month. Independence Day in September was the kick off for a number of religious and political holidays which have included a week long fair, weekend bazaars, and numerous parades. Although work continues I have also enjoyed walking to the park in the middle of the day to watch school bands compete, the parade for the Virgin Mary, and eating my share of fair/bazaar foods including cotton candy, exotic liquados (smoothie drinks), local candies and churros. I am also growing more excited to spend the Christmas and New Year holidays in Xela now that I have seen how Guatemaltecos party and made a number of long-term friends.

Hope this update appeases the masses, especially those living vicariously through me. I will try my hardest not to be silent and return to filling my blog with stories of my adventures abroad, especially since I am off of Facebook and Gchat. As always thanks for all of the support and love! These last few months were hard but like I always say “no rain, no rainbow!”