The Hermit Life

My sister pointed out the funniest thing last night. My mother, like most moms, was contradicting herself by telling my sister that she goes out to much and worrying that I do not go out enough!

I think she fears that I will become a hermit! Which is funny since I do enjoy socializing and have never had trouble fitting in, making friends and being the center of attention. What concerns her is that I have pruned my list of friends over the years and have not added to many to the list.But what I explain to her is that I have added to my list of friends. The tough part is that many of my closest and dearest friends live in other cities, states or countries! Many of my friendships from high school have died of natural causes: we grew up and grew apart. Many of my friends in college have moved further away or are in our college town while I now live in South Florida. And many of my friends over the past two years abroad are abroad. Many live in Europe and a few are still working in Africa.

I know that with time things will change. As I continue to settle I will meet new people who match my current state. With work and school again I will begin to socialize once more. And life will continue to on as it always does; some friendships will die naturally, some will be pruned back and new ones will blossom.

I think for now to make my mom feel better my sisters and I will simply average our night time adventures...that should balance it nicely!

I am NOT a Standardized Test!

For the last month I have had a one track mind. My main focus right now is the GRE which I have to do well on for graduate school. This test is evil and must be defeated. It currently occupies more of my time than actually applying to graduate schools. I can honestly admit that I was under-prepared for the difficulty of this test. It was not like the SAT that I took to get into college. With that test I did not study and did better than most of my peers. And it was not like the LSAT that I took for entry into law school. With that exam I studied a far deal and did average. This test was insane! It was unlike any standardized test that I have ever taken.

The thing that made it hardest was that it was computerized and not the normal bubble in answer sheet that comes with most standardized tests. This made it extremely difficult. instead of being able to write on the booklet you had to rely on the scratch paper provided. This was frustrating but I actually caught myself a few times during the math sections where I had copied the question down incorrectly. One misplaced number or symbol will ruin all the work you put into a problem.

The worst part about the computerized test is that it requires you to work on one problem at a time. You can not skip ahead and worst you can not go back! So once you are stuck on a problem to bad. You have to answer and move on. You can not go back and change an answer and you can not skip to something easier.

I find it amazing that schools still use standardized test when nothing else in life is really standardized. I am not standardized. Why should my acceptance into graduate school rely so heavily on this test? Does this test show my interest in development and humanitarian aid? Does it show my passion for Africa? Does it hint at my adventurous side? Does it reveal that I will be an excellent graduate student? No, but somehow it will be used by every school I apply to and help rank me with the other applicants. So this test stands as my arch-rival and I will conquer it! I am keeping this enemy very close.

Definitely an Adjustment

So my one year old niece may break me. She is adorable, she is cute, she is giggly and sweet. And she does not know who I am. Somehow I imagined it would be easier. I hoped that she would accept me quickly and my absence for her entire time post womb would be ignored. But this little girl does not have amnesia. She knows who each member of our family is and knows that she does not know me.

It is a very tough pill to swallow. She cries when she thinks she is being left alone with me and we have had to resort to trickery when I babysit (me taking her for a walk in her stroller while my sisters, dad, or mom escape the house). My mom continues to insist that it will just take time, which I know is right, but it also makes me fear that I will also be the last resort family member because of my late start. I do not regret this year or the year before that. How many people can say they spent 2 years in Africa, have friends in numerous countries on numerous continents, and have traveled the globe? So I feel and fear that this is one consequence that I will just have to deal with.