Their Wedding Day Is My Wedding Rant

My friends Michael and Michelle are getting married today! This is especially exciting for me since I played a large role in connecting them. Unfortunately, I am still in Guatemala and not Florida so I am not at the wedding (which I was suppose to be in but had to pull out of). Instead I get to stalk Facebook, which is much harder with my limited internet access, over the next few days hoping one of our friends post some pictures.

As I think about their wedding and the beauty and amazement that weddings possess I must admit that I am a little relived to not be there. Don't get me wrong, I want to be there with everything in me. I even considered buying a very late, very expensive plane ticket this week until I reminded myself that I am a grad student and don't have the luxury of whims yet. My relief is due to the fact that I dread a few parts of wedding receptions. Two parts in fact:

I hate being asked/told that I am next.

And

I hate being forced to try and catch the bouquet!

Let's start with the statement/question that someone will ask at every wedding reception I attend. Why do people feel the need to even make this comment? I will be married when I am ready. Right now I am bouncing around the planet like a mad hater anyway so it's partially a game of "catch me if you can" anyway. Yes, I really am thinking of remaining in one spot for longer than a year and am mentally preparing for the Spring when I will 'hopefully' be
getting a place of my own and a job back home. But for now I am enjoying the freedom that comes with being unmarried and childless. Let's see some of my married friends explain to their spouse that they suddenly have the urge to travel with an open-ended ticket. Imagine some of my friends with kids announcing that they are leaving everyone and everything to live abroad for 6 months.

I think people should encourage me to do this for as long as I am comfortable instead of making me feel abnormal for being unattached. And it's not like I don't want to be married...one day. I just think this is a great time to explore the world and learn about myself and how I can be a part of changing it. So please, enough with the when are you getting married questions. You'll know I am getting married when Facebook says I am engaged. And maybe, if you don't harass me, you will be lucky enough to receive an invite.

Now onto these stupid flowers that I am suppose to catch. Why, seriously, why am I catching these flowers that the bride didn't even carry because this is her cheap, to-be-tossed bouquet? If I am not ready to be the next one married the last thing I want to do is go catch her bouquet. In the short term whichever creapy, half drunk guy or 10 year old kid catches the garter will then be putting that thing on me in front of everyone (public humiliation anyone?). In the long term catching the bouquet is suppose to indicate you are the next one getting married and if I am not ready I really shouldn't hinder the one bridesmaid desperate to catch that thing. Plus I don't want to be called out as one of the "not married girls" which is now how they title it since many of us are no longer single (in the sense that we have boyfriends) or pretend we do when at weddings.

Really I would appreciate not being interrogated about my relationship status. Let's enjoy the couple we are there to celebrate and the overpriced wedding taking place. Badgering me for answers and my relationship details is really just distracting you from getting a big piece of dry wedding cake and taking blurry photos. I'll go ahead say that for my wedding I will not toss the bouquet but will give it to the longest married couple in attendance. Plus I want to keep my garter in place for a more private viewing!