The Countdown Begins?

Today is a big day. It's the 21st of May. And that means I leave Liberia in exactly 2 months (though I will not be home for almost another 4 months...more on that later). I'm not quite sure at this point how I feel. I have all of the initial feelings bouncing around that range from extremely excited to slightly depressed. There is so much that comes with having The Date. To put the final seal on the drama and significance of today, I received a package from my travel agent (hi Bob) that contained my airline tickets. No changing my mind...no looking back.

I am excited to leave for many reasons: I am eager to see my family, friends and church members and really want to meet my niece. Being in a foreign culture can wear on you and a break from foreign back to familiar is always nice - it is surprisingly refreshing. I am eager to start a new adventure (more details to follow I am sure).

I am also sad for many reasons: I have made some friendships here that have changed my views on myself and how I interact with others. I am comfortable here and going into the unfamiliar is always a challenge (even if it is good unfamiliar it still requires change). I am returning home and that also involves facing a lot of unknowns (future plans) and changes (people and relationships do not pause).

Someone asked me yesterday if I have started the countdown to my departure date. I have decided now would be way to early...it would make things harder if anything. Because I would begin to want to be gone instead of living in the here and now. It would be like the "senioritis" that a lot of students get at the end of their senior year - you start to check out mentally. And I want to finish strong and that requires being checked in mentally. So while I make plans for my departure I will resist the urge to check out, plan too far in advance, or get excited with the energy that a countdown produces.